Filed under: Food | Tags: Chinese Food, Crouton, High, Munchies, Weed, Wonton Soup
I was hanging out with my friend in his dorm room, we were smoking pot and listening to the Beatles. When I was packing the bowl again, there was a knock on his door and he opened it and stepped outside. I was a tad nervous because I was packing a bowl and there was a guy outside, you know, standard fear. Then my friend came back inside with what I took to be Chinese food. I got a little excited because this is the type of friend who is very open about sharing everything (an extremely positive quality) and I thought maybe he might give me some. I looked into the bag a little and thought I saw some dumplings.
Then he asked me, “Do you like wonton soup?” I thought yes (and answered in kind) but I was a little disappointed that that was all that he was going to let me in on, but at the same time I was happy that he was going to let me in on his food in the first place. Then when he pulled out all the contents of the brown bag, and I realized that it was just three wonton soups, I realized that he was, in fact, sharing what he had and wasn’t doing that thing when someone shares but says you can only have a certain portion. Anyway, that’s enough on how good of a sharer he is.
I always liked wonton soup, which was one of the reasons why I really liked this. And then midway through he told me to take croutons (which sound like alien invaders) and smash them up and put them in the soup, and I did (although I mashed them up into much larger pieces than he did), and that was great too. I think this is a great high food because it’s delicious, consistent and you also feel great after eating it, and you’re completely satisfied. It also defeats cottonmouth. So one time (not necessarily next time) you smoke, get only wonton soup (I’d say a large order) and chow down.
(Btw, I think the picture has a healthy amount of irony).
… it depends on the quality. If you have great chocolate, then it’ll be magically delicious. There will be a burst of amazing flavor in your mouth that you will be able to savor for a time period corresponding to how good the chocolate is. If it’s bad, well, it’ll be alright. Unless it’s a style of chocolate that you just don’t like, I don’t think there’s any chocolate that is bad, there is just a lot of chocolate that is not as amazing as other chocolate.
Here is my theory on how this was invented. I actually have two theories. The first is that there was a kid who was an extreme Oreo enthusiast. This is actually historically accurate because the Oreo was invented in 1912 and, well, I’m guessing this was invented afterwards. Anyway, this person who frequently enjoyed Oreos was also an entrepreneur, and tried to figure out how to take this great product and introduce it into another market as another product. Now, this started off as a simple idea, but soon it consumed his life; and after a couple of months the only place you could find him was in his basement, pouring over piles and piles of paper, with a tiny lamp giving him enough light to see and on his right, a cup of tea that his five year old daughter gave him, because she missed her daddy and that was the only way she had an excuse to see him. Anyway, when she was ten, he finally felt bad about neglecting his family for so long, so he decided to take out his daughter for ice cream (only when the ice cream truck pulled up to his front door). She got some soft serve vanilla and he just ate some Oreos. Viola, he came up with the idea of ice cream sandwiches and they became rich. The downside of the story is that when he became rich he still didn’t spend time with his daughter because he was too busy counting money. Oh well, she got a really nice car.
But here is my second theory as to how ice cream sandwiches were invented. Back in the old days of Jim Crow, there was a white man who fell in love with a black woman. He was continually ridiculed by his family, and then when he tried to actually marry her, he was stopped by the laws that prevented interracial marriage. Well, he wouldn’t stand this, so he brought the issue to court. When he was halfway through the trial, he realized that the jury was split in half for either side, but the side that was against him was filled by fat people. He had an idea: he was going to find a way to describe his case in terms of food. He stayed up all night for many nights in a row and then finally figured out the ice cream sandwich, black cookie with white ice cream in the middle (I think you can see the sexual innuendo he was going for). He presented these ice cream sandwiches as evidence and when the jurors were done eating them he said: “this is interracial marriage!” The problem was that even though the jurors were fat, they were nonetheless still racist. So they came to a compromise: this guy could marry the black woman that he wanted to marry, but no other interracial marriages were permitted. That guy didn’t care about other interracial couples, so he left the courtroom content (I think this case provided the precedent for Loving V. Virginia).
Anyway, whatever the story is behind the ice cream sandwich, I think the fact that it has such a cool history is amazing in and of itself. But other than that, it is just a delicious thing to eat when you’re high. I think that it accomplishes the balance between chocolate and vanilla much better than the chocolate-icing combination of Oreos; mainly because it’s smoother and the ice cream sandwiches are nowhere near as hard to bite into. Also, in Oreos the difference between the tastes is extremely abrasive, while in the ice cream sandwich, the tastes morph together.
Filed under: Food | Tags: Beef, Crunchwrap Supreme, Fourth Meal, High Food, Munchies, Taco Bell, Weed
Taco Bell is a really interesting company. First of all, it seems as if it was made for stoners. It is open until the darkest moments of the night and it markets these extended hours as a fourth meal. Which, if you decrypt this piece of marketing, means: if you’re out late smoking and you need to eat somewhere, and can’t really find any other place that’s open, come on in. I never really had a Taco Bell that was always near my house, it was always Wendy’s for me, but I have one near me in college and even back in the old days, if I could go to Taco Bell, I would.
Taco Bell is refreshing because it’s really upfront about what it is. It’s shitty Mexican food that’s open really really late. But I think the funniest thing about Taco Bell is that it isn’t really Mexican food, Taco Bell just periodically makes shit up. Which is really cool, and they make it seem like it’s Mexican. So I guess they’re upfront and lying to you at the same time. But they aren’t even really lying to you, because it’s not as if they’re saying that it’s Mexican, they’re calling it a Crunchwrap Supreme.
But Taco Bell is really good at making up food. I think that’s because it doesn’t take much to Mexican food. As Jim Gaffigan said, Mexican food is really all the same, just meat, tomatoes, rice, cheese, lettuce and some other things. But it seems that they decided to just add the softness of a burrito and the hardness of a taco. Which is a cool combination. This is just a delicious combination of different tasty things, and I think it’s great to eat, so if you ever feel like it, go out and get it man.
Alright, peaches aren’t the best. There are a lot of down sides to peaches. Personally, I think they are too fuzzy. There is no reason why a fruit should have that much fur, its just crazy. I feel like I’m biting into a chipmunk sometimes. Granted, a shaved chipmunk. Or rather, one after an extensive haircut. Look, the point was that it’s weird because fruit aren’t usually that fuzzy, it’s more like the animals to be fuzzy. Like bears.
Anyway, peaches are really, really tasty. They sort of have this unrivaled type of sweetness that really has no downside to it. And they’re soft and mushy, so if you’re dehydrated, they can take care of that, a natural response to cotton mouth. Plus, if you’re outside, you can just throw your peach core wherever you want. Like on the grass. Or in the bushes. Or in a tree. Or if you’re near the water, in there. It’s really easy to clean up after a peach when you’re outside.
The only real problem with peaches, and in fact, they’re biggest problem, is that they can be really, really sticky, which can just be a bummer when you’re high. But you have to make the decisions. And if you have a sink, paper towels and maybe even some soap nearby, I would definitely go for it.
The first time I ever ate Beef Ho Fun, it was right before tennis practice, and I remember thinking to myself: “this would be great high.” Although I didn’t think I should just leave it as a hypothesis, so soon afterwards I ate Beef Ho Fun again, but I was high. And I was right, it’s absolutely amazing.
This is one of those dishes that not only combats the munchies, but also kicks its ass. Don’t be surprised if you can’t finish it (well, you should also get dumplings before, but that’s just understood). These noodles are extremely filling, and they are so good. They are soft and massage your mouth. Also, the vegetables in the noodles are soft enough that the textures don’t contrast that much, but they are hard enough that they give the dish a sufficient amount of difference to make it interesting to eat. The beef is usually harder, but that’s all right, because it doesn’t interfere with the softness of the noodles. But all of this is in a really tasty sauce that is mostly smooth, but it has a sweet tang to it that entices you to eat more.
This may seem like a bizarre recommendation, but this is in the vending machine downstairs in the building that I am in, so I get it a lot. This is sort of a hard taste to pinpoint. While you are drinking it, you don’t really taste how sweet it is. It has a mellow taste as it’s going down, so that it’s smooth, you know? You can drink it without being annoyed by it.
Then, once you’re done sipping at it, you start to taste exactly how sweet it is. But I wouldn’t characterize it as a sudden rush of taste; rather, I would say that it’s a gradual progression of sweetness that just happens to occur extremely quickly. Those two things may seem the same, but they’re not. Finally, when you think that it can’t get any better, the raspberry flavoring comes in like Batman who, while he was there all along, watching you get manhandled by the Joker’s goons, finally decides it’s time to strike and swoops down and turns the scene from an armed robbery to a daring rescue. That’s what the raspberry does; it changes the drink from mellow tea that happens to be a little bit sweet into an unbelievable raspberry drink.
Somehow it manages to fight cottonmouth and make your mouth dry. But then when you’re done drinking it, your mouth isn’t dry any more. I think the dryness just comes from the knowledge that this delicious drink is right there and you can have some more, but for some reason you aren’t. So, naturally, the dryness is really just a craving that you feel in your mouth, around the sides of your cheeks. But once it’s all done, you don’t feel the craving anymore, and you are really quite satisfied. The cottonmouth is gone and you can just chill out. It also leaves remnants of its flavor, so you can remember how great it was.
By the way, even though it looks like it’s healthy (“It’s TEA dude!”), it’s not. So don’t be thinking that you can just drink a lot of this instead of coke and everything will be all right. It won’t be.
Filed under: Food | Tags: Cheese, Food, Goose Poop, High, Indian Food, Paneer Palak, Pee Pee, Spinach
Another guest recommendation, one more that I feel was done way better than I ever could write it. And I feel the need to remind anyone reading this that if you have an idea or a recommendation that you want posted on this site, just email it to theweedfeed@gmail.com.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m high, I really enjoy challenging my senses. Paneer palak allows you to enjoy all five of your senses at the same time. palak, is not only the most delicious vegitarian dish, but also the most confusing. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of tasting this slice of god, paneer palak is a mildly spicy spinach dish with chunks of cheese. The cheese tastes like tasty tofu, which always confuses me, and therefore causes me to go into a laughing fit when I’m high. The spinach is both slightly spicy and extremely creamy; a combination that makes me want to cry it is so good. This combination is also often difficult to process, which makes it an excursion to eat while high. Whether you eat it really quickly without realizing what it tastes like until it’s gone, or savoring it in your mouth to detect every single flavor (which there is a lot of), paneer palak is always a good choice to eat when you have the munchies. Eating paneer palak with a piece of naan or some Indian rice gives the dish a hearty sensation, so you’re satisfied enough to not munch more after eating it, no matter how high you are. Not only is paneer palack delicious; it also just sounds hilarious, and thus appealing. It’s extremely entertaining to say paneer palack in funny voices when you’re high. I like to nickname paneer palack, Pee pee, which furthermore gives me a reason to laugh. First of all, the word pee pee is simply funny, and second of all, it’s ironic, because paneer palack does not taste like pee pee at all, rather it tastes like the opposite of pee pee; heaven. The coolest thing about paneer palak, besides the fact that it’s an orgasm in your mouth, is that you’re allowed to pronounce it backwards; it has two names! Paneer palak and palak paneer! Imagine if we could call milk shakes shakes milk without getting weird looks. That’d be nice. One more crazy thing; It’s nicknamed pee pee, and looks like goose poo poo. I have never, ever seen a food item that looks so disgusting but tastes so delicious. Once again, the irony is beautifully hilarious when stoned. You just can’t go wrong with a food that feels good in your mouth, tastes and smells yummy, sounds great, and looks hilarious
I smoked a blunt with two of my friends and then went to another friend’s house (who had recently quit smoking weed after a bad acid trip) to play Super Smash Brothers. I was ridiculously high and actually kind of good at the game at the time. Then the friend’s whose house I was in went upstairs to go to the bathroom. No big deal, we kept on playing our videogame. After a couple of minutes, we had to stop the game because he had to move his car. He told me to call him before we left to the debate meeting that we were going to so that he could have a ride. I obliged and he left me there, sitting. So I was sitting there. And sitting there. And I sat there some more. It wasn’t that boring because, well, nothing is boring when you’re high. My friend who went to the bathroom came back downstairs and reminded me that we had a meeting to go to and we had to leave that minute (it was 7:00, the meeting was at 7:30 and we wanted to stop at a deli before we got there). I remembered that we had to wait, but I didn’t remember the reason why, so I just left with him. About ten or twenty minutes later, I got a phone call, the subject of which was along the lines of “Why the Fuck did you leave me here, I told you to wait for me.” My only response, after taking a sip of Arnold Palmer (which is a great side to Oreos, by the way) was: “Dude… I got Oreos.”
I don’t think he understood how amazing of a development this was, seeing as how he hung up the phone in anger. But it was. Oreos are so delicious when you’re high. They are chocolaty, but the icing balances out the otherwise abrasive taste that the chocolate pieces can have. But, if you only like the chocolate, you can just scrape out the icing and eat that part. And if you only like the icing, well, you get the idea. And, you can make a quadruple stack of the icing, which is a bit much, but can be fun from time to time. All in all, there is a great balance between these two delicious tastes that can be a bit much on their own.
And, there is a seemingly unlimited amount of them. You can just keep on eating Oreos if you so wish. I don’t think a box of Oreos costs that much anyway, so its not like you’re wasting that much money.
